The past ten years are about to come to a halt forever and I for one am excited about the new decade. The last one gave us Arctic Monkeys, Jose Mourinho and the internet. Frankly, it’s been a blast and it’s a lot to live up to. Though most of you have had a terrible year because of the recession business it’s been a great one for me and if the current trend of my life being amazing continues then the next one will be even better. Here’s some stuff I’m looking forward to:

Because Chelsea’s transfer ban was sensibly overturned we can now go on a spree in the January sales. I love it when Chelsea sign new players, in many ways reading the back pages of the tabloids is actually more fun than watching the game itself. For a while I was worried that FIFA would stick to their guns and enforce the ban but they’ve stayed true to type and sheepishly overturned it at the first opportunity. It’s ironic that their logo features a pair of balls.

I love the World Cup. It’s a time when even people who know very little about football can put their opinions in with everyone else. I like nothing more than asking someone who they support while having a discussion about how Peter Crouch’s height would make him an ideal goalkeeper and hearing them reply: “England”. That’s the spirit!

I’ve been going every year since 2009. I love how you never know who’s actually going to be on, it’s like a big game of Guess Who? Though without the board or any of the rules that are actually in Guess Who? I’m hoping to see The Beatles headline, they can already do that hologram stuff and 2010 is literally the future so anything is possible.  

I always think that my flat can’t get any better but it turns out it actually can. Be it a Jacuzzi bed or a two storey fridge there’s always some new gadget I find myself wanting. Last year I got this amazing bit of stereo kit that plays the bit from The Champions League music that goes: “The Chaaaaaampions!” whenever I enter a room. Whenever the boys are over it reminds them of what exclusive company they’re in.

This is this amazing science thing I read about in The Express. It’s about 500 miles down into the Earth’s crust underneath Sweden or somewhere like that, apparently it’s the size of France and the point of it is to discover new colours. They thought they’d finished it but then they turned it on and it completely blew up. They’ve rebuilt it now and I can’t wait to see what amazing new kits clubs will be able to have in the next decade!

Obv! This is inevitable and will set the tone for the next ten years!

I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got to get ready for party I’m throwing tonight. It’s fancy dress, I’m going as a blue lion, and under that suit I’ll also be David Beckham, if you’ve got the looks you might as well use them! I’ve hired a club in London, it’s a place called Gash, it’s half price for girls if they lez up on the door. Come one and all! Happy New Year! Chelsea, Chelsea!